More than merely a headbanger's take on A Star Is Born, Rock Star is, like all great Hollywood middlebrow fare, actually "inspired by a true story": the saga of an Ohio salesman/Judas Priest tribute band vocalist who one day found himself taking Rob Halford's place in the spotlight. But whether its music is big-hair throwback or merely ahead-of-the-curve '80s retro-hip is hardly a matter that will cause quantum theorists sleepless nights. Not surprisingly, the film's soundtrack sounds both distinctly virtual and marketing-department honed: a mix of modern rockers (Everclear's hard-pop title track, the Verve Pipe's "Colorful") and '80s vets (Bon Jovi's genre-defining "Livin' on a Prayer"). Steel Dragon, the film's fictional headliners, feature era vets Jason Bonham on drums, Zakk Wylde on guitar, and vocalist Jeff Scott Soto giving star Mark Wahlberg something to lip-synch. They re-create a frighteningly credible faux-'80s pop-metal ethos that ranges from the big-ballad Bon Jovi-isms of "We All Die Young" to the pounding, metallic Priest-cloning of "Livin' the Life" and "Blood Pollution," and the anthemic "Long Live Rock and Roll," the latter in a ham-fisted performance that begs to be subtitled "(But Please Retire Soon)." It's all enough to make long-suffering heavy metal fans cry out, "Why hast thou forsaken us, Spinal Tap?" --Jerry McCulley