A wizards worst nightmare had come to pass—my computer beeped at me.

The night degenerated as we discovered all our hard-earned, some would say ill-gotten, gains had been hijacked. Then it turned hellish as witches entered the scene.

Soon I'm trying to ignore the smell of patchouli and stop myself getting involved in business I have no right, or desire, to become involved in. But what's a poor wizard to do when a sexy witch in too little leather and too much jewelry asks nicely? Yeah, I said no, fat lot of good it did me.

Now I'm stuck in the middle of warring factions, and if I don't pull a rabbit from the magic hat soon, friends, family, and even enemies will die.

Little did I realize, my misplaced loyalty and heroics would get me killed. It's an occupational hazard, but even wizards run out of luck eventually.

Oh, and there's the small matter of the Kinky Bones, but that comes later.

Hi, I'm Arthur "The Hat" Salzman. A bit overwhelmed, to be honest.